A Work In Progress

Found in Christchurch airport. Shudder.

I happened to mention at work that I sometimes help my Dad out with his business.  The comment back was "Oh, so when he needs someone to go in and be all stroppy does he get you to do it?" HONESTLY!!!!!!

I have an awesome Dad. He is smart, funny and generous with his love and time. Up until now I have had the worlds smallest TV. My laptop is bigger than my TV. My small cat is bigger than my TV. I've always wanted a bigger TV but it's one of the things that ends up on the wish list. Then, without a word, a present from my Dad arrived yesterday...... I love you Dad for thinking of me.

If you have read my blog before, or know me, you will realise that I have quite a broad range of music that I like, from sClub7 to Linkin Park, Eminem to Ed Sheeran, Harry Connick Jr to my much loved Everclear (original line up of course, I mean honestly, who likes the new line up? Art you need to stop calling all these random people Everclear when you, Craig and Greg were the true Everclear. There, I've said it). All that is great if you know the big picture of all the music I love. Unfortunately the person I gave a lift to over the weekend did not know this and was greeted with Taylor Swift at full volume when we hopped into my car. I could see what little street cred I may have had with them evaporate at the realisation that clearly I had been singing along to "Enchanted" last time I was in the car. Really hard to recover from that.

Sat 2pm: Niece arrives. Small cat exits house...fast. Sat 6pm: Small cat not home for dinner. Unusual. Sat 11pm: Small cat still not home. Odd. Sun 2am: Still no small cat. Bit worried now as she is not one to wander. Sun 9am: Walk round street calling small cat. In the rain. Pretty sure anything small and white I see in the distance will be dead small cat. Sun 2pm: 24hours and no small cat. Assume she must be dead or injured and that I'm a terrible owner for not keeping a better eye on my pets. Sun 6pm: 100% sure small cat is dead. Shed tears. Sun 10pm: Go to bed. Mentally prepare self that now one cat family. Mon 1am: Small cat struts into bedroom. Mon 1:05am: Small cat thinks she is a legend. Pretty sure I saw her high five my other cat. Mon 1:10am: Try to explain to small cat that I was very worried. Small cat is choosing to ignore me. Mon 1:15am: All cats now in 24 hour lockdown. Yeah small cat, I went there. I gave you some freedom and quite frankly you took advantage of it....

Last nights dinner....three glasses of wine. Let's logic this, wine is from grapes, grapes are a fruit, fruit is similar to vegetables..... I had vegetables for dinner.

Sugar free, gluten free, low carb, low GI, excessive consumption may have a laxative effect...... Diet candy is not fun candy.

Last night I had training. Been about three weeks since my last session due to holiday, illness and general laziness. But I'm back now and determined to get re focused. Trainer decided to measure me at the end of the session.  We discovered that while I am the same size everywhere, I have lost 1cm off my neck measurement. 1cm What the F**K? Firstly how does that happen? Secondly, what is the point of that? I mean, yes, my necklaces fit better, but seriously, neck diameter is not where I was targeting when I started this fitness routine. Still, one must be grateful for all body improvements, so I would really appreciate if you all noticed how slender my neck is looking today and as a result how more attractive I am. Thank you

Today I have been leaping over a lizard that is in my hallway. Actually I have been leaping over two halves of a lizard. Seems that my small cat targets cicadas in summer and lizards in winter. Most days I man-up and remove the corpses myself. But some days, like today, I get too grossed out to do it. It is on these days that I leap, like a gazelle, over the assorted body parts, pretending they are not there. I continue in this denial until I get a visitor to save me or my large cat eats the remains. I have done a lot of leaping today and I'm exhausted. I don't know how gazelles do it. I hope I get a visitor soon, or large cat gets hungry. UPDATE: My brother in law came over and saved me from the lizard. He did discover it was actually two half lizards rather than one lizard in two halves. That leads to the question of where the other halves are. Or we may have discovered a new breed of two headed lizards.

I am trying to think of the perfect word to sum up this week. Draining Confusing Smackontheforeheadannoying (it's one word if you join it all together alright!) My lovely Mum has been unwell and it upsets me terribly to see her like that and not be able to fix things. But as the week has progressed, she is getting better and my heart gets lighter every time I see her. What has also sucked (but clearly to a much lesser degree) has been the realisation that sometimes, I am a terrible judge of character. I like to think I am quite savvy and astute when it comes to sussing out people, but it appears that I can also get it spectacularly wrong. Anyway, I finish the week older, wiser and damn tired.  Roll on the weekend!!

Watch "Henri 2, Paw de Deux" on YouTube

I know I'm an impatient person, but I have been waiting an hour for brunch and I am starving. Admittedly it was probably silly to go out on Father's Day, but come on!!!! Oh wait, it's here!!!!