A Work In Progress

Grace: Mummmmmm! ! Me: Yes Grace Grace: I like bath time. Me: I know you do. Grace: Look I've got a blue duck in one hand and a yellow duck in the other. Me: Well done. Grace: OMG there is a pink duck.  I want to hold that.  Now I have a pink duck and a yellow duck in each hand. Me: That's great. Grace: OMG there is a blue duck!! I want to hold that one.... Me: Ummmm, I'm foreseeing a bit of a problem here.... Grace: OMG there is a yellow duck...I want to hold that one! Me: Yeah see Gracie there are three ducks and you only have two hands... Grace: Muuuuuummmm why did you get the extra duck?!?! Me: I'm really sorry about that Grace. Grace: This is very stressful Mum.

So as I head back to work on Monday, I am now starting to feel guilty about leaving my girl. As a result, I am baking mini muffins for her snacks. It is frustrating that I find myself feeling so guilty even though I know I need to go to work and that she has the best Dadda in the world who will be taking care of her. I find myself worrying about stupid things; will she still love me, will she resent me leaving her, what if I'm not home in time for cuddles before bed? I have always had a lot of empathy for working mums. The only difference is that now I understand the gut wrenching ache that consumes you when you head out the door and leave your child behind. But my logical mind knows it will be okay. Grace knows how loved she is and that her Mama and Dadda are dedicated to her helping her grow into a wonderful person. But in the meanwhile I better get back to my baking. ..scones are next...

What a lovely day at the zoo! We had so much fun and Grace was a delight. I love doing family stuff. Oh and I might have bought Grace a zebra outfit....

Each month I take picture of Grace in our big red chair. This month she was not as keen to participate.  Sigh. But still damn cute!!

I have mentioned before about my battle with nappies and baby clothes. Does my bum look big in this? Well today I dressed Grace in a new pair of 3/4 pants that were a size 1.  On Grace, they are quite tight and full length. Seriously, I can not figure out baby sizes.

A friend of mine was telling me her seven year old has been asking questions about the tooth fairy....does she have one just for her? What's her name? Etc etc. When I was little I asked the same questions...and my tooth fairy responded. Little notes on tiny scraps of paper in miniscule handwriting.  And guess what, I still have the letters. The picture doesn't do the size justice...the notes are the size of a $2 coin.  So magical to receive these as a young girl and it never occurred to me they were from my Mum. May I be half the Mum that my Mum is to me and create magic in my daughter's life as my Mum did in mine.

Both of us have been up all night.  One of us is handling it better than the other....

After two days on the hedge at the rental, we are now mulching the leaves for our garden.....and it is exhausting!! Mum and Dad were lovely enough to look after Gracie, made extra hard as she is unwell. We are half way through the mulching and exhausted.  All I want is a solid nights sleep...and enough money to pay for someone else to finish the job tomorrow. .....

Yesterday and today we helped my Dad cut a hedge at a rental property.  I am known for my ability to get out of manual labour but did realise I needed to help given all the help Dad has given me over the years. I have to say that it is very satisfying to start a job and see the finished results. But I'm knackered after only two half days of physical work. Now we have a HUGE pile of leaves in the front of our house that we need to mulch up and put on our garden. The good news is that it will motivate us to do some gardening. The bad news is I hate gardening and am not looking forward to getting started....

Finally "little miss perfect hair" has a bad hair day.

Grace is not allowed her dummy during the day. This morning she figured out a way to get round the system. Finding a puzzle piece with a round handle she put two and two together and.....well you can see for yourself....

Family trip to the museum on a rainy Monday. Lots of fun and Grace loved the acoustics of the place...awesome for screaming!

What Grace says when she wants my attention: Mum Mum Mum Mum What Grace says when she is happy: Mum Mum Mum! What Grace says when she is grumpy: MUM MUM MUM MUM!! What Grace says when she is upset: MUM MUUUUUUM MUM MUM MUM MUM I looking forward to her learning more words.

Today started like any other. We had all noticed that Monkey Balloon had taken a beating over the past few weeks. Gracie and her friends have enjoyed punching and body slamming him on a regular basis, which has taken its toll. This morning his partial deflation was obvious. But we truly had no idea how much he longed for freedom until this afternoon when, with the doors to the deck open and the wind to push him, he made his great escape. And damn he was fast! We didn't have a chance to grab him and instead watched him float away over the house. So RIP Monkey Balloon.  We gave us hours of happiness and we thank you.

Today we put up the Christmas tree. Yep and it was my idea. Gracie is teaching me to get rid of my traditional grinch attitude and embrace the holidays. My family are going to pass out in shock!!!

So we just finished swimming and Grace is doing well. She loves her Dad watching her and kicks and squeals when he catches her eye. As I have a fear of the water, I want Grace to feel at ease with it as she grows up. So I guess I do push her a bit a swimming.  I dive her deep and when we sit them on the floating mat I let her fall into the water so that it becomes nothing scary for her. To her credit she takes it all in her stride now. No crying or spluttering, just looks around when she surfaces and starts splashing. It's funny how you want your child to grow up without the fears you had as a kid.  Reality is she will develop her own fears and likes and dislikes and while I can try expose her to as many things as possible to help get her to be more adaptable, I can't control who she turns out to be. Parenting is challenging.  Not so much about how tight you hold on, but about how you learn to let go.

Child already peed swim nappy and is crying.....good times ahead.

My parents are currently rennovating their house. This means there are visits from trades people as the job progresses. My parents have two cats; George and Zoe. Zoe likes to get involved heavily in the work and is particularly curious about the comings and goings of people in the house. This week the plumber came. After he finished, he drove off but about ten minutes later, he returned.......with Zoe. Yeah. It turns out Zoe had decided to explore the plumbers van.  She thought the best place to settle down was the roof of the van, between the pipes and ladder. So when the plumber drove off, she was left clinging on for dear life. Luckily the plumber stopped....unluckily it was 2km away from my parent's place. While he popped into the bakery, someone pointed out to him that a grey fluffy cat was on the roof of his van.  God bless him he pried her free, put her in the front seat, and returned her home. So has Zoe learnt her lesson? While she is very subdued I suspect that she w...

Spoil sport.

So Grace is making the most of having both parents at home. She is REFUSING to be left alone. In fact she whines and cries the minute you put her down. Her thinking is that there are two of us at home to cater to her every need, so one of us should be entertaining her during all her waking hours. Chad had a great idea after a particularly trying morning as we tried to get things done while dealing with Miss Grumpy. He popped her in the front pack and continued with his chores. Well she loved it...giggled the whole time she was bring carried by dadda. It has occurred to me that while we thought we had won (in that we got things done), she really got exactly what she wanted. ..to be perminantly attached to one of us. Damn it Grace, you are smarter than Chad and I combined.

"What sort of person offers to make a chocolate pudding and doesn't follow through????" Said by a horrified Chad after I sat down before making the pudding I promised.......

Two years ago I met a very nice gentleman who made me laugh, made me feel safe and let me be me. Now we have a wonderful daughter together and life is good. No scrub that, life is great! Thank you Chad for everything that you are. You make me so happy and make me want to work hard at our relationship so that in five, ten and fifty years time I can write another post like this. I love you.

Oh Mama, what were you thinking?

So last night Chad went to cricket and my friend Susan came over. I'm not sure how it happened but we ended up having a karaoke battle. So much fun, absolutely exhausting and fiercely competitive. Our audience was a little underwhelmed...our dog hid and you can see the photo of Susan's dog below. I was impressed by my rendition of The Pretenders "Brass in Pocket" and Susan completely rocked "Busta Move" including incorporating animal noises. The rematch is going to be epic.

Today Grace and I picked up her cousin s from school. They are so good with Grace and she adores them. I love that we all live so close. Flynn also got his hair cut today. He looks....smaller..... He is certainly going to be more streamlined for swimming tomorrow!

Today we had coffee group at our house. As Chad is home, it was his first experience of the madness that is coffee group. This week there were five babies, five Mums and of course one Dad. Lots of chatter, squealing and toys everywhere.  Chad dealt with it all well!! It's fun having Chad home. I love doing things as a family and I know Grace is loving having her dadda home.  I start back at work in Jan, with a few handover days in Dec, so we have a couple of months of fun before regular life kicks back in. Another good day planned for tomorrow. The three of us are having fun.

Serial is a new podcast from the crew at This American Life. It's so interesting! http://serialpodcast.org/ So awesome!!

Please stop comparing me to the other kiddies in coffee group. I know it seems everyone is ahead of me; they have four teeth and I only have two, they are all crawling and I'm still just sitting, AND that a couple are walking AND they are all younger than me. I get it Mama, you are concerned, you are worried about me and worried you are not doing a good job as my Mama. Mama, I'm doing my best and you are doing your best. I'm very healthy, I chat and giggle and love playing and I love you and Dadda. Life is a marathon not a sprint Mama. I'm learning every day and doing some kick arse things.  I know it can be easy to compare but you need to try not to. I am me. I am awesome. And so are you. Love you Mama but stop comparing.