A Work In Progress

 So proud of Grace. She had to do a speech at school and she decided to do it on ADHD. It was a wonderful speech, open, honest with some great moments of humour.  I loved how she has developed a pride about having ADHD, the good stuff and the stuff that makes it harder. Her humour is so wonderful too, and I know that she will achieve so much in life because of that wit. As we head into her first year of college next year, I am excited to see her grow. The last two years at intermediate have helped her confidence and independence so much. High school will help her to find subjects that excite her and hopefully give her some inspiration on what she would like to do after school ends. There will be hard things too, but I know she will get through it and I will be here to support her all the way.

Grace has her desk in the family room, mainly due to space in her room but also to help her not lock herself away. She just finished tidying it and I love how it represents where she is at. Lots of art, Lego still displayed proudly, pillow on chair covering her phone ( she is still adhering to the no phone in her room rule, yay!), pottery on display. A beautiful blend of child and teenager!

 Turning 50 is a weird milestone - I dont feel 50, and I dont really put a lot of weight behind milestone numbers. But I do like reflecting on life, and I feel I have grown, learnt from many of my mistakes, and lived a pretty great life. The biggest change is watching just how much Grace has grown this year. Today I washed some of her baby clothes that I found so I can store them and it took me right back to when my whole clothes line had tiny little outfits on it. This year, she everything has changed and I am in so much grief for the loss of some of the old routines, it hurts!!  She is still my little button and I see that side of her when she is unsure or overwhelmed. I need to manage my patience through these growing phases, as my sister said "give her space and grace". She is the kindest, funniest and sweetest girl and I love her so much that it honestly hurts. I hope she knows that. She seems to have all my worst moments front of mind that I wonder at times if she sees ...

Spot Update: Day Three days since we found out Grace's best friend has chicken pox. So far, no spots on my cheurb.    Puppy Countdown Update: Dog sitting confirmed for 16th Sept to 10th Oct. How hard can it be?   Italian Student Update: One week left. I will miss his critic of my pasta cooking, but grateful my lasagna passed the "Italian test"  

 I have to be honest, I am not enjoying this phase.  Grace is 11 and while I am loving seeing how she is growing into a lovely young lady, I miss my baby girl. Last month, she had her period for the first time but she didn't tell me. She assures me she was fine and talked with her friends about it, but I ached a bit inside that I wasn't her first port of call. She doesn't want us to say good night to her in her bed anymore (she kisses us goodnight and then off she goes), no songs, no requests to snuggle in our bed and we are doing our car "call to butterfly" less and no toys in the car. It's almost as though in the last school holidays, a switch flipped and she became a teenager. We still cuddle, and say "I love you" multiple times a day; it's just the normal process of growing up. I am trying so hard to hang on to the moments where she does want to connect, and of course I do insist on cuddles (which is does let me give her with a bit of an eye ...

Today Grace got braces. It took two full hours to get them installed and she was so strong and brave.  Chad is back at work after the school holidays, so week three of his new job at Howick College. He is finding the change hard and it is giving him anxiety which I hate seeing. I really hope he starts enjoying it as I know how good he will be at it once his confidence sets in, Work for me is good, I really enjoy Bluebird and the people are great. I have days where I struggle but most days I feel good and strong. I’m proud of where I have gotten to in my career. It’s a funny phase of life I’m in, turning 50 soon, at the back part of my career but still wanting to succeed, Grace is getting older and her friends are more of the centre of her world than I am. My face and body don’t reflect my mind and I feel young and at my best professionally and mentally, but the world sees me as middle aged. I want to age disgracefully and be confident, loud and unapologetic of the woman I am. Maybe...