I have to be honest, I am not enjoying this phase. Grace is 11 and while I am loving seeing how she is growing into a lovely young lady, I miss my baby girl.
Last month, she had her period for the first time but she didn't tell me. She assures me she was fine and talked with her friends about it, but I ached a bit inside that I wasn't her first port of call.
She doesn't want us to say good night to her in her bed anymore (she kisses us goodnight and then off she goes), no songs, no requests to snuggle in our bed and we are doing our car "call to butterfly" less and no toys in the car. It's almost as though in the last school holidays, a switch flipped and she became a teenager. We still cuddle, and say "I love you" multiple times a day; it's just the normal process of growing up.
I am trying so hard to hang on to the moments where she does want to connect, and of course I do insist on cuddles (which is does let me give her with a bit of an eye roll and small smile).
She still has big emotions but is learning to handle them better. I am doing my best to manage the roller coaster of big feelings that come with being a teenager. She has a great group of friends and I really hope that continues - good friends can make all the difference in your teenage years.
But I miss her childhood and ache a bit inside as we move into the new phase. I have so much anxiety for what lies ahead, not because I don't have faith in her handling life's challenges (she is smart, sensible, and kind, I know she has got this!!) I just am sad that I won't be her first port of call for advice or support. But I will make sure she knows I am there, I have her back and love her without agenda or judgement. She is my world, but I need to learn that I am no longer her whole world, and that is okay.