A Work In Progress

Lockdown this time is harder - harder to stay calm and surpress my anxiety, harder at work with increased workloads. I know that things will be okay, I have lots of levers to pull if I need to to look after my family, but I also know logic doesnt always calm the voice in my head. So I am keeping busy. I have started walking each day at 6am, trying to move that time earlier to 5am so that it is a habit I can keep going with post lockdown. I am not controlling my diet yet (one change at at time!) but that will come in time. Maybe I can shift a bit of weight and get a bit healther. Can't get ahead of myself too much, but its worth the effort to stay healthy for longer. Also am starting to see what is out there on the job front. It is going to be hard given my age and, if I'm honest, my appearance. Sadly these things do matter when you are looking for a job. But I want to try earn a bit more money to try and get my family ahead. Anyway, one step at a time, one challenge at a tim...

 Its funny how you can a run of good days and then the anxiety creeps back in. I think right now with a few people leaving last week and my workload increasing, the stress feels greater, so my fears multiply. Last weeks farewell was particularly hard as I adore Tegan and she was a wonderful member of my team. Got her an epic farewell gift of a dachshund planter. It was wayyyyy larger than I thought when I ordered it but very awesome (although Truffle didn't think so!!) At times like this, I try so hard to just focus on the tangible things I can do, and of course build my houses. This hobby has definitely saved my sanity and I had to buy two shelving units in order to display my collection!! I'm also trying to focus on all the positive things in my life and trying to be a better Mum to Miss Grace. She is such a precious soul and I hate how focused I get on the little things that won't matter in five years time, let along next week. I want ...