What a year, and it March!!

So far this year:

Chad found out he has another brother

Mum got unhelpful news from her neurologist

My boss got made redundant

My sister's husband left her and the kids

I started a job hunt

I got a job (yay!!)

Marketing at my company is being restructured

My anxiety got out of control

It's been a ride. I know things will work out. I know I'm safe and loved. It's just sometimes I can't see the path ahead and I unravel.

Tonight we all lost out shit at each other. We were meant to go for a walk but stress and tiredness bubbled over and we all acted badly. I'm just holding out till Easter when I get a break and a chance to do some tidying and some life admin which I've put off. Plus we get to go to Taupo which will be wonderful. No screens, just books and games and cuddles.

Everyone is growing up

Turning 50 is a weird milestone - I dont feel 50, and I dont really put a lot of weight behind milestone numbers. But I do like reflecting on life, and I feel I have grown, learnt from many of my mistakes, and lived a pretty great life. The biggest change is watching just how much Grace has grown this year. Today I washed some of her baby clothes that I found so I can store them and it took me right back to when my whole clothes line had tiny little outfits on it. This year, she everything has changed and I am in so much grief for the loss of some of the old routines, it hurts!! She is still my little button and I see that side of her when she is unsure or overwhelmed. I need to manage my patience through these growing phases, as my sister said "give her space and grace". She is the kindest, funniest and sweetest girl and I love her so much that it honestly hurts. I hope she knows that. She seems to have all my worst moments front of mind that I wonder at times if she sees ...

Picture of an 11 year olds desk

Grace has her desk in the family room, mainly due to space in her room but also to help her not lock herself away. She just finished tidying it and I love how it represents where she is at. Lots of art, Lego still displayed proudly, pillow on chair covering her phone ( she is still adhering to the no phone in her room rule, yay!), pottery on display. A beautiful blend of child and teenager!

Updates

Spot Update: Day Three days since we found out Grace's best friend has chicken pox. So far, no spots on my cheurb. Puppy Countdown Update: Dog sitting confirmed for 16th Sept to 10th Oct. How hard can it be? Italian Student Update: One week left. I will miss his critic of my pasta cooking, but grateful my lasagna passed the "Italian test"

A Work In Progress

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