New Job and loving it!!

Three days into my new job, have been quite nervous to start but now that I am in, it feels good and I really love the people and feel at home.

Unfortunately, my anxiety had not caught up with this and as a result, I am still having daily panic attacks and strong feelings of impending doom (which I get when I am stressed - that feeling that something bad will happen). I'm trying hard to work through it and focus on creating moments of low stress in my day and not do too much. The only annoying thing is that Chad has decided that I should go to his friend's daughter's birthday party with Grace on Saturday (he won't be going as he will be with his Mum). I don't know my friend well and Grace doesn't know the daughter so it will be awkward and tiring as I have to put on my "social face". I have had to be "on" socially all week so I am exhausted and really just wanted to rest this weekend but oh well - it's important to Chad so I will do it.

Early night again tonight - need sleep so badly!!

Picture of an 11 year olds desk

Grace has her desk in the family room, mainly due to space in her room but also to help her not lock herself away. She just finished tidying it and I love how it represents where she is at. Lots of art, Lego still displayed proudly, pillow on chair covering her phone ( she is still adhering to the no phone in her room rule, yay!), pottery on display. A beautiful blend of child and teenager!

Everyone is growing up

Turning 50 is a weird milestone - I dont feel 50, and I dont really put a lot of weight behind milestone numbers. But I do like reflecting on life, and I feel I have grown, learnt from many of my mistakes, and lived a pretty great life. The biggest change is watching just how much Grace has grown this year. Today I washed some of her baby clothes that I found so I can store them and it took me right back to when my whole clothes line had tiny little outfits on it. This year, she everything has changed and I am in so much grief for the loss of some of the old routines, it hurts!! She is still my little button and I see that side of her when she is unsure or overwhelmed. I need to manage my patience through these growing phases, as my sister said "give her space and grace". She is the kindest, funniest and sweetest girl and I love her so much that it honestly hurts. I hope she knows that. She seems to have all my worst moments front of mind that I wonder at times if she sees ...

Updates

Spot Update: Day Three days since we found out Grace's best friend has chicken pox. So far, no spots on my cheurb. Puppy Countdown Update: Dog sitting confirmed for 16th Sept to 10th Oct. How hard can it be? Italian Student Update: One week left. I will miss his critic of my pasta cooking, but grateful my lasagna passed the "Italian test"

A Work In Progress

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